We're back

Thank you to everyone! We made it through the holidays, and are now looking forward to another years battle, only this time on the adoption front.

So you all know, the end of our IF journey hit me incredibly hard. I was sure that our melt down back in the summer , when we decided to use our frozen embies, and then move on, was my rock bottom. But as it turns out, when the 2nd FET failed I was crushed beyond words. I instatnly hated every pg person I knew, and couldn't look at a baby. I cried every day. I didn't even want to see my best friend at Christmas.... Because she is pg and has 2 kids already. I didn't believe I would ever become a person with such feelings. However, IF kicked the shit out of me, and I guess I needed to feel like that for a little while. I did get some anti anxiety meds (also help with sleeping) from my Dr. and almost instantly I became myself again.

The holidays haven't been my favorite time of year since all this IF started. I simply cannot wait to start our own traditions and have our own baby to share them with. So this year at our house there was no tree, and no decorations. Al & I exchanged stocking type gifts only. It was all I could handle.

Over the course of the last say 4 months 8 people I know have lost someone close to them. And I gotta tell you, if bad things happen threes, I am way past quota! So if everyone could just pray for people to stop dying, I'd appreciate it.

Now, onto the lastest news. This coming monday we meet with an adoption practitioner (used to be called social workers). These are people who we have to do a homestudy with. That is a big process to make sure we are fit to be parents. We also have to register with an agency as they handle the legalities of actually placing a baby. Plus they have the registry to match waiting parents with pg ladies. However, if we happend to come across someone who wants us to have their baby (not through an agency) we can just have a lisencee take care of the legalities of that (we have lawyer in town who is one). I hope this all makse a bit of sense. Our meeting on Monday isn't necessarily to start a homestudy, but to discuss our options. Who knows, maybe we like her a lot and decide to pursue a homestudy with her.

I also have an apt in Feb with a plastic surgeon to (consult at this point) get my breast reduction. Long awaited. I didn't want to do it during IF, as there is no guarantee you can lactate after having one done. I am excited about it, cuz it is something for me.

Al & I booked a sunshine vacation for the last week of Feb to Mexico. I'm sure you all don't need me to tell you how badly we need it. I will be counting down the days.

SO, thats the update for now... thanks for reading if you made it all the way. Jo